Endless Tape Loops

One morning, not long ago, I awoke to Eddie Fisher singing  "Oh My Pa-Pa." I buried my head in my pillow and groaned, trying to shut the song out, but it was no use. It continued to play over and over in my brain. No matter how I tried to block it, it sung through. This is an affliction I have suffered from for many years, and I dread what my subconscious will come up with next. I have been tortured by songs such as, “One Eyed, One Horn, Flying Purple People Eaters”, “ I’m Waiting in the Lobby of Your Heart”, “The Twelve Days of Christmas”, “Elvira”, “Achy Breaky Heart”, “Mother-in-Law”, “The Witch Doctor”, and countless others. What I don’t understand is why I don’t come up with better music. If I have to listens to something endless times, why can’t it be a well written song? Why does my brain latch onto the worst? There is one song that I dread above all others, and that is" Danny Boy." I fear even mentioning it. It has only come up in the endless tape loop twice in my life, but that was more than I could bear. Those two times made me wonder what I had done to be tormented so. It is such an awful song. It’s other title is” London Derriere” and that’s a much better title for the damn thing. Oh – I’m sorry, “Londonderry Air.”

Anyway, these insidious songs do fade by evening. I’m grateful for that, and they don’t show up every day. But just when I think it’s safe to assume that I’ll never be afflicted again, I wake up to “Feelings – Whoa Whoa Whoa, Feelings!”