Dog Necklace

Since I’ve spent a lot of time at the dentist office lately, I’ve tried to make it a more positive experience by bringing along small art pieces to show each time I go. My dentist and I have become friends because I have given him so much money that he feels obligated to like me. I seldom go to the doctor, but my teeth are a different story. The rest of my immediate family have happy, normal teeth. Mine fall out at an alarming rate. If it weren’t for crowns and veneers, I’d be like an old Eskimo woman whose teeth have worn out and the family eventually leaves her out in the snow.

Anyway, after looking at my artwork, my dentist commissioned me to do a design with teeth. Try as I might, I still don’t have enough human teeth to make a piece (at some point, I will). So I turned my attention to the dog teeth I collected a couple of years ago. A Golden Retriever died some blocks away, and after the vultures did their job, there were only teeth and bones left. The sun bleached and cleaned both, and I was able to easily pick them up in spite of my walking partner who said she couldn’t believe I would do such a thing! I then went on the Internet to see what other people had done with teeth. Not much. At least, not in the way I have used them. It’s an open opportunity for me to explore further. Hope my dentist likes the design.

The above piece is "outside the box", and sits on top of the glass.  

                                       Summer Solstice

Don't forget to look at the full moon this week-end. This is a time when the moon is closest to the earth, and it will shine more brightly. It's a good time to make a wish. 

The Dyson Digital Slim

OK, every once in a while, an ad catches my eye on TV. This time is was the Dyson Digital Slim. It caught my attention because the size was far smaller than my canister vacuum, and it looked easier to use. Once I found out that it only had a twenty minute run time, however, I lost interest because it takes me more than twenty minutes to vacuum my 1500 square foot house, and the recharge time was 5 hours. Then about a week ago, my husband mentioned that he had a lots of points on his credit card, and here was a catalog from which to choose an item and redeem the points. I immediately ordered the Dyson, since there was no money exchanged, and it arrived yesterday. Wow. It’s really cool. It has incredible suction and its small size makes you want to use it on a daily basis, and it's fast. If the kitchen floor gets covered by bird seed, (I have a messy bird), the Dyson takes care of it quickly. I no longer have to drag the canister vacuum after me as I make my way down the hall. Oh, by the way, the canister instructions says not to drag the canister by the hose. Now, how many people do you know are willing to pick up the canister each time it needs to be moved? It is obvious that the canister vacuum was designed by a man. Well, yes, the Dyson was also designed by a man, but he must have had some feminine advisers.

While looking through the Dyson manual, not only is everything explained in pictures, but it has an interesting warning that I thought I would share.

Warning # 14:  Keep hair, loose clothing, fingers, and all parts of the body away from openings and moving parts. Do not point the hose wand or tools at your eyes or ears or put them in your mouth. 

Now, why would someone do that? TMI! I don’t want to know!

Quotes

While wandering through a church rummage sale, I found a good book for our bathroom library. The bathroom is one place where I refuse to bring my phone. Therefore, I’ve collected a number of books that either have short stories, essays,  or quotes. “Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers” are just about perfect for the bathroom library. There are many editions and they are very cheap on Amazon.com. One of my favorite books is “A Treasury of Great American Scandals”, by Michael Farquhar. In this book I found out that George Washington’s mother was an embarrasment to him. As a matter of fact, I discovered all the dirt on our founding fathers! Good reading and just about the correct length of time for a visit to the bathroom.

Below is a condensed version of the book titled, “The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said.” I especially like the two quotes by Lily Tomlin. She has a sharp mind and a wicked sense of humor. 

What to do in case of an emergency:
1. Pick up your coat
2. Grab your hat
3. Leave your worries on the doorstep
4. Direct your feet to the sunny side of the street.
Unknown

I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It’s much more humane.
Unknown

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
Tom Lehrer

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Yard sale – Recently married couple is combining households. All
duplicates will be  sold, except children.
Classified ad in the San Jose Mercury News

From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35 she needs good looks; from 35-55 she needs a good personality; and from 55 on she needs cash.
Sophie Tucker

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
Jane Austin

There is one fault that I must find
With the twentieth century,
And I”ll put it in a couple of words:
Too adventury.
What I’d like would be some nice dull monotony
If anyone’s gotony.
Ogden Nash

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
Stephen Leacock

A cucumber should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.
Samuel Johnson

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
Jim Samuels

It’s all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
Mick Jagger

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.
Lily Tomlin

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Almost Like Having You Here.
Stephen Bishop song title

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Mark Twain

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like?
Jean Cocteau

I have learned to spell hors d’oeuvres,
Which grates on many people’s nerves.
Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom.
Unknown

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
Plato

Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
Barry LePatner

If I don’t get a part for my artificial heart
I’m gonna stop caring for you.
Bernie Sheehan

If Jesus was a Jewish, how come he has a Mexican name?
Unknown

Why torture yourself when life will do it for you?
Laura Walker

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.
Rita Rudner

If you don’t take care of your body, where will you live?
Unknown

I don’t like Diane Keaton anymore. She’s had way too much therapy.
Patricia Wentz

It took me an hour to bury the cat, because it wouldn’t stop moving.
Monty Python

Art is about making something out of nothing and selling it.
Frank Zappa

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s nonety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Gloria Steinem

Gravity isn’t easy, but it’s the law.
Unknown

Good Will

Level 1
Once a week, Elaine and I go to Good Will on Highway 18. This particular Good Will has three sections to it. There’s the Boutique, the regular store, and the salvage store. We go to all three because you never know what you will find in any of them. The Boutique has all the above average good stuff, and it is artfully decorated each week by this rather rotund black lady. I have to admit, she has a great eye and can assemble a living room ensemble that rivals the department stores. In fact, they’re better than the department stores. It is always interesting to see what she comes up with.

This is the store where we occasionally find Coach purses hanging on a display rack. Elaine and I try not to act too excited when we find one, so we won’t alert them that they should be charging more. Everyone behaves themselves in this section of Good Will.

Level 2
The regular store has handicapped workers with issues. Although it is good to see these people working and being productive, they can sometimes be challenging. There’s this one lady who has Tourette Syndrome, and she has taken a dislike to Elaine. Sometimes she follows her around the store, emitting short crackly sounds. There is also the little guy with the push broom. Now he can be annoying at times since he patrols the aisles with vigor and expects you to get out of the way. This is the store where you can find some really good clothes though. The store is very neat and organized.

Level 3
This is the salvage store. It’s mostly a free for all in this section. Inside are giant cardboard boxes that contain piles and piles of clothes, and sell by the pound. We see the same people, mostly women, in there each week. We suspect they resell the clothes. They guard their boxes with great zeal, and disputes can happen at the drop of a hat. Although Elaine says the store makes her itch, we occasionally find some really good things. I found a Coach strap to replace the one on my purse that was worn and stretched. I also found glass shades for my kitchen. At Home Depot, they were $25.00 each. At Good Will, I paid $5.00 for three of them. As I was leaving the other day, I noticed a new sign posted in the store. It is obvious that people behave rather badly in this section, but fortunately, we have never been there during a lock down. Here’s the sign:

Found this sign outside of the Mayo Car Clinic in Raymond. I especially like the bullet holes. It certainly gives it more of an edge. Don't you think? Maybe I should get one for my house.

Bay Lee's Egg Design

What to do with 100 Cockatiel eggs... Just add some pearls! Well, at least 50 of them in this design. I showed it to Bay Lee, and she couldn't figure out why the eggs were stuck. Please note that the mirror in the center of the eggs reflects some chairs on my porch. I didn't want to be part of the photo so I took it at an angle.

Yard Sale

Yesterday, Elaine and I went to a yard sale that was off the beaten path. In fact, it was well out into the countryside. As we pulled into the driveway, there were old weathered wooden chicken coops and a house to match. There were 3 ladies who had set up in the yard with their modern items, next to a scene that could have been right out of the 1930’s. We were told that their grandmother had lived in this house up until the time she died. As I stepped inside the house, it was obvious that whoever had lived here had been dirt poor. There was a faded calendar on the wall dated 1963. A bed with dusty sheets and a spread. An old chair, and an old sink barely hanging onto the wall. The house was right out of the great depression. But the most remarkable thing was all the jars of canned goods that had been put up, and never eaten. According to one of the ladies, the jars were $1.00 each. I guess they thought that the jars were so old, they were collector’s items. I couldn’t help taking a few photos.